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Sunday, August 30, 2020


it's worst in morning

it comes and goes

it's still

it's dark 

opened windows

the sun - daylight

the moon at night

the feeling same

the feeling fright

the day seems long

no song clicked on

just silence


this is the song

no need to call, reach out to one

alone you sit

without a gun

the heavy thoughts that cloud your view

make many people point at you

the peek of day

"I made it to . . . "

another hour, another skew 

no energy to fill the day

no scheduling

no "heard me say"

back to day and back to night

they are the same 

when there's no light


is calm and sometimes stale

you cry, you walk, you nap, you yell


concludes the time from day

with wonder how

the color's gray


brings thoughts of dis-inclusion

night seems like a mere illusion 

did the day turn into night?

or did you walk in gray sunlight?

that in-between 

that not so there

that where is she?

wait, is she there?

afraid to come out and play

she has no one

they do not stay


When you live in a space where you feel alone


not liked

not forgiven



left out 

you're too opinionated

you're this. . . 

you're that . . . 

it all becomes too much

it becomes challenging to see your own worth and create from a space of positivity 

everyday you wonder why you're here

you question your own existence

did god make a mistake, then leave you behind?

you've sunken into a deep depression that no one can seem to understand nor see


I struggle with all these things, but I hope that life can reveal its place for me . . . sometime soon. 

If anyone can relate, then I've done my job.

deeply out


We sometimes feel that when things change and the people we know start to go on their own journeys . . . That we have to 'keep up with the jones' or else get lost in the shuffle. We have to do what everyone else is doing! (feeling 8/29/20 also) 

What if there's that bubbling within your stomach or that short hesitation within your breath, as you find out... there is yet another change in season evolving? Do we go with our gut? Or Do you try to stay and figure YOU out? (current conundrum 8/29/20)

I don't believe that actual physical places will change, we change within them. The atmosphere (our relationships, the landscapes) is what creates a change within us.

Though, in many situations so many changes are happening and occurring so fast that, we ourselves are very unsure of our placement. (I'm unsure of my placement 8/29/20)

Do we charge it to our hearts and not to our guessing egos?

6/7/13 3:06 pm

. . . experiencing lots of change in my relationships, friendships, mentorships . . . life in general. 

deeply out! ❤

Saturday, August 29, 2020


Disappointment exists in those spaces of expectation. But not the expectation of needing someone to "do the most" nor go out of their way. Just merely taking the time to follow up or respond. It's in my opinion . . . common decently. Letting someone know that . . . I value you. I actually support you.


Though your value should only be linked to your own personal views...We should all show our [care] by simply doing the things that take that extra bit of time . . . esp if its for or coming from a "friend."

We all make time for what we want. 

Make time . . . if you care.


If you choose not to make time . . . are they really your friend? Are you really theirs?

Are you better at DisappointING or are you always the one who's DisappointED?


Life is VERY short. Think about it.

deeply out! ❤